Food for Thought

Okay, so there isn't really any food. Sorry to have mislead you. I just have my head swimming with thoughts of all kinds and I just had to figure some of them out. To do that, I need to put some of them into words.

Okay, so the first thing on my mind is that I need a haircut. Nothing fancy, mostly just my bangs trimmed. There are a few other details that I want, but I cannot find the words to fully express them. I have long ago given up trying. I am currently at my grandparents house. My dad suggested that I get my hair cut while I am here. This seems like a minor problem, I know, but for some reason, I just feel very uncomfortable with the idea of somebody other than my usual hairdresser cutting my hair. Shannon -- that's her name -- knows what I am going for and knows what I want. When she cuts my bangs, she doesn't cut them too short so that they look ridiculous for a while, and she uses a special tool when cutting them that gives them a light choppy layered look. While I could easily tell somebody all this, I just feel that somehow they will get it wrong. It's happened before. I once went to another hair place that was less distance. When I got my hair cut, I had to tell her every little detail of what I wanted. If I had forgotten to say anything, then it wouldn't be done. What I like about my hair place is that they would always ask the questions, like which side I wanted my part, or how long they should trim. For some reason, this is very important to me, and I just cannot stand to have someone else cut my hair that I do not know. Well, I guess that figures it out. I will just have to wait until my dad can take me to my regular place.

Not a lot has been going on this summer. I've mostly been sitting around. Coming here to Connecticut has been the most eventful thing in weeks. The next most eventful thing, other than the struggle of getting our cats into carriers for their vet appointment, will be my birthday party. Yes, yes, I know, my actual birthday was way back in December. The thing is, there isn't a lot you can do in the winter, and a lot of people go on holiday for Christmas by the time my day rolls around. So, to leave my options more open, I have decided to celebrate my birthday with a party closer to my half birthday, which was actually yesterday. This party is going to be so fun! We are going to this place in Everett, MA called Sky Zone. It's a room of TRAMPOLINES!! Usually, I try to find a group of friends that will best get along with each other, but what does it matter this year? There will be trampolines! You can ignore people all you want and still have the time of your life! So there's that to look forward to. Next month, my summer really should pick up the pace. It's nice to have free time, but too much can get sooo boring.

Luckily for me, today is going to be warm and my grandparents have a pool. :)

Bon Appetite!

I have just discovered a new movie to add to my list of favorite films: Julie & Julia. I know the movie itself is not brand new Bhutan up until tonight I had not seen it. By now I am sure that I have mentioned to you my love of food and cooking. In fact, this summer, I will be taking a few cooking classes. That means that my family will get to taste Eng leftovers I may bring. Thanks to my grandmother, I own the newest edition of Julia Child's first cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking. After seeing this film, I have the urge to cook from her book. Julia Child's life is so wonderful. There is so much to it that, I don't know, I just never thought about. She and her husband were madly in love. It is so beautiful and lovely. It really gives me hope.

I really haven't mentioned relationships in this blog. I would say that I sm a romantic. I'd love a guy that I can enjoy the company of and just be happy. I like to keep my preferences vague as to keep my options more open. Sure, I wish I were dating somebody so I can experience this thrill that I have heard about, and I will ask for it to come into my experience. When I am ready, it will come. None of this petty crap that can come from the typical high school relationship I have seen. My life doesn't have to be a soap opera, where drama and frustration are the natural way of things. My life, simply, will be one of happiness and devotion to whatever I like.

 Life is whatever you throw at it. You get what you take from it. Not to be prophetic or anything, but it's true. So live like Julie. She wasn't completely happy with her life, so she changed it and became what she wanted to be. Now I absolutely must visit France!

Welcome to Cabaret!

Tonight, our school had its 2nd Cabaret Night of the year. After watching the winter's performance, I decided that it was time I let the world know my talent. Well, OK, not the world exactly, but a few people in my school now know I have a voice. I asked my brother Taylor to accompany me as I sang Favorite Things. As the night wore on, my stress and nervousness only continued to increase. Such talent all around. Everyone that performed was a singer, it seemed, or a performer in some way. Before I knew it, my name was called. I walked up to the platform and was instantly blinded by the spotlight. I didn't think I would last very long if I tried to stand while performing, so I took a stool and sat down. Taylor then began the jazzy tune he had acquired to spice up the song and make people wanna dance. I began singing with a shaky voice, but my confidence slowly grew. I began to look away from the microphone that I was staring intensely at and looked around, although I could see nothing through the blinding light. I liked it that way. It was like it was only me within the confines of the stage, singing to the darkness that accepted my voice and enjoyed it. When I hit the last note of the song, I could not even tell if it was me singing. The G note was held unwavering until it was time to release, where I let it tremor slightly before releasing it. The applause was well rewarded. I had so much fun. I cannot wait to do it again next year. Maybe I will even have enough courage to do something for the talent show, but that probably won't be for a while. My next focus is getting people to recognize me as a drummer, because I really think I could impress people when they allow me.

Just a Book and Some Sunlight

It would seem that I am perfectly content just sitting in a comfortable chair in nice weather reading a book. It's not something we think about much, the simplicity of things. Some feel that they could not possibly be happy unless something exciting is happening. Well, the book must be good in order for me to be so contented with it. For instance, right now, I am reading this wonderful book of short stories titled Masterpieces of Fantasy and Enchantment. They have all been compiled by David G. Hartwell. Today, I got up a little earlier than I had originally intended, since it was only Sunday. I usually sleep in pretty late, but on this day I was up at around 8:30 before I officially got up from my bed at 9:00. After I ate, I opened the door to the deck so the cats could enjoy the sunshine (you see, our deck is screened in, so our cats can enjoy the wind of the outdoors while remaining indoor cats). I grabbed myself a Peach Snapple, the best beverage in the world, and grabbed my phone since I was expecting to have other plans later in the day. There, I just sat in our anti-gravity chair and read the book I mentioned previously. Because it is composed of short stories, it is never the same, and therefore it remains interesting to me. And, as you can see, when I start reading books, I can type in these fancy phrases that I only use when I have just been reading. I remember one summer I spent most of my day reading books that I had found on a bookshelf in the house. It was a lot of fun, although I did not have a very good place to sit where I could stay cool other than the floor of my room, which is hardwood and therefore not the best place to sit. I spent hours wrapped in my own world of solitude and unicorns (these books are about fantasy, remember). My only pause was to decide whether or not I should adjourn upstairs for a nap or decide if I was hungry and should stop for lunch or a snack. I tell you, it was a day I shall cherish. Even more so because at the end of it, I got to spend some time with my dear friend Anna. Since she goes to another school, we don't get to see a lot of each other. I only met her last year, but I do think she is definitely one of my favorite friends, maybe even THE favorite friend, not to offend those I am also friends with, but seriously, have you MET her? She radiates kindness and gracefulness, and I happen to know that she has access to reading this blog, but that does not make my words waver. I surely and honestly mean them. So, Anna and I saw that new movie with Kristen Stewart in it, Snow White and the Huntsman. I think the movie was really good, but Kristen should really have smiled more. They described her, being Snow White, as the image of life itself, yet she always seemed so serious and conflicted. Other than that, I loved it.

Within My Grasp

This is an entry I was supposed to record on here yesterday, but obviously, I didn't, so I will write it today instead. Today is one of those boring days where you don't have anything going on, yet you feel like you want to fight it; stand up to the world and shout, "I will defy you, oh sunny day! You shall be avenged and I will do something today!" (I'm not really sure if those words convey the exact message, but they sure sound cool when put together). In fact, I would gladly stand up this very moment and say those words, if there wasn't someone sleeping just one floor above me.

My family really has no clue about my inner-craziness. Whereas my friend is able to belt out the lyrics to a song from AVPM while playing random chords on her piano and nobody would even giver her a second glance. They're just so used to it all that it's normal. Ah, what a life that would be.

I have decided to take part in my school's Cabaret Night this spring: a night where anyone who signs up can pick a song and sing to their heart's content, at least until the song ends, then you have to let the next person up. A great brother of mine, Taylor Benson, shall be accompanying me to "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. I just love the Mary Poppins songs, and this seemed like a good first step for people to being to see my many talents. Nobody really knows me as a singer, so it'll be fun to impress them. This version -- according to the sheet music it's the original -- has a bit more of a jazzy feel. I absolutely love it! It's not the traditional version that everyone is used to hearing, so they won't even recognize it unless they look at the program or until I sing the words. It really is great fun to sing about things that really do make me happy. If I weren't going to have fun, I would see no point in any of it.

Speaking of fun things to experience, I will be taking cooking classes over the summer a week or two before my family and I goes off to Hawaii (don't ask me which island, because I have well forgotten). That means I will be coming home with leftovers and knowledge of new recipes. I forget if I will take the Italian food class or the French one, but either will be a great thing to put on my resume and get me a future job. I don't know if I would call anything a career, because then it feels like I can only do that one thing, like I must be devoted to that. If I just say it's a job, then I feel more free to branch off from that and go towards other things if I want to do that. I may end up spending my life as a musician after all, although the idea now makes me uncomfortable. I absolutely love music and get a great joy out of playing it, it's just that there is all this pressure that comes with being a musician for a living. You have to make sure that you get gigs and earn a lot of money, or the whole things sinks and you are left with practically nothing. Both my brothers would like to go into the music industry, and I fully believe that they will go far. My grandfather once said that pianists were "a dime a dozen," and that may be, but none of them are like Taylor. His skill exceeds some that have been playing for years, at least in the improvisation department. And Alex is always improving his skill; trying out new songs and taking lessons from someone that has had his own success and has made many albums.

I wonder what it would be like, after college, when we all meet up again once we've settled, and see just how much we have changed; how independent we have become. With our own cars and everything! It's almost time for me to learn to drive, only a few more months, I believe (or is it 16 1/2 that I can start?). Then, the world will be further within my possession.

We Wish You Well

Yesterday, a student in our school died. When I found out by receiving a phone call from the principal, I went on Facebook to see what I could find out. I know a name: Adriel Gomez. Turns out, I even know who that is. He's one year older than me. I admired him for how differently he expressed himself and according to my English teacher, he was really very nice. I mostly just knew him as the "guy I sometimes passed in the hallway" as well as "the guy who sits at my lunch and is Katelynn's boyfriend." The day at school was extremely somber.

I didn't like it.

I know there are some people who feel they are suffering because of the loss of their dear friend, but I wish I had felt that I was at least able to smile. I enjoy smiling. When that is taken away from me, I have almost nothing, since I work off hilarity and jokes. After school, I heard from a friend that he had apparently hung himself in his room. His younger brother, who looked up to him like a father, was the one to find him. How scary that must have been. Well anyways, here, on my blog, with my friends, I would like to wish Adrien well. You were greatly appreciated and loved.

The Importance of a Team

I have come to realize that a coach is more than just somebody to teach you the sport. I see now that a coach is someone that you can trust. They are you confidant and reliant. You should be able to tell them anything and then they in turn can help you become stronger and more independent. I found this out when our school was playing Whitinsville Christian and I had a flashback moment that caused me to freak out. I do not know if I have told you this story, but basically, someone in the crowd said something to her daughter, some encouraging words, and I instantly thought about Mom. I started to have a panic attack. If I could have, I would have walked away right then to air out my emotions. But for whatever reason, I wasn't allowed to do that. Perhaps it is because that would be a huge sign of weakness for my opponent and she would then know that she had won. I just think they want the game to go by as quickly as possible so that they can go home and do whatever else they wanted on their April vacation.

It's true, I wanted a bit more out of this tennis season than I got. I think we have officially lost our chance at the districts, but I can't be sure. We have two more games next week, and then that's it. If we lose one more game overall, then we are definitely out. That doesn't really matter to me though, I mean, I'm only a Freshmen. I don't think I could last very long against those other schools. The only individual wins that I have ever gotten were against Quabbin. I know I have improved immensely this year and I only hope to keep getting better. Maybe next year, I can play like our captain Kaitlin. I find it amazing that she has only been playing tennis since she was in 8th grade. I know that she is a lot better than me and is also an amazing teacher. I think she is hoping to do some teaching after college, maybe come back to Hudson and work with their summer program or even help out Mrs. Weed, like Coach M. did.

I realize that this is Kaitlin's last year on the Hudson Varsity Tennis Team. I know she probably wanted to leave with a greater end result than we have been given, but we are still so close. Anything could happen. As long as our spirits our high, we are invincible. So Kaitlin, know that you will be missed, and we were always impressed with you. We all love you, that I can say is certain.  I hope you have a lot of fun in college.