Life is good. It is, and will always contain, a sense of majesty. It's all a bunch of wonderment. What we go through each day has its own purpose. Not the purpose of some greater being guiding us towards some predetermined destiny. On the contrary, we guide ourselves towards the goal we had set for ourselves that is born from our wanting. (I figure that since this is my blog that I can sprinkle my beliefs in here as much as I want).
As far as going live, I have decided to do it! However, I have searched this entire site and have absolutely no idea how to do it. I can't find the button that allows this to come off the privacy setting. I may have to make an entirely new blog and re-invite my followers. That's fine and all, but it would all be so much simpler if I just had the one that I could update. I'm sure my computer expert of a brother Taylor will be able to help me out. He added a "reply" button onto his own, after all.
Tomorrow, I start cooking classes. I will be learning my way around different Italian dishes. I expect to have so much fun, and I will hopefully take the lessons I learn with me through my life here. I mean, it's making FOOD! How boring can that really be? Even if the instructors were doing all the cooking and we just watched, it would still be just like a cooking show, and I really enjoy those.
I want to brush on that for a bit. The fact that I like cooking shows, that is. You see, it makes me pause because when my mom was still around, she would always be on the cooking channels recording some shows and other times just as a nice background show while she played games on POGO. I think the reason I have turned so willingly to cooking as a career is because when I am in the kitchen, I am brought back to my memories of cooking alongside Mom; helping her out with dinner. I remember that on those nights, no matter what we made, it would always taste especially delicious.
I think so often about my future, whether it is the time I will spend in college or when I am done with that an onto my career. I have my own ideas for how everything will turn out (happily, of course). Right now, I am remembering how fondly I used to place my parents, especially my mother, into that lifestyle. I have been on the fence about whether in the future I will have kids. I feel I would be able to succeed as a mother, but I just don't want to have to go through what has been described as the most painful experience a woman would ever have to go through (thanks for that, by the way, Mr. Reynolds). I always thought that, if I were to have kids, it would all be okay, because Mom would be there to help me out. I know my dad will be there, but he doesn't understand me as much as Mom did. Plus, she gave birth to triplets! I would know that she was telling the truth when she told me how painless and simple everything could be. If a doctor tells me these things, there is no possible way I could believe them unless it is my second child or something.
But I don't have to think about that now. It's not like I plan to get pregnant in my teenage years. Hell, I don't even have a boyfriend.
It is so weird to think that I will be a sophomore in this upcoming year. Man, I'm getting old. It all happens so fast. I remember my first day coming into the high school as if it were just last week. More responsibility will be thrown onto my shoulders. I'm ready for it. I was born free, and that is how I will live. I will be laid back, expectant, and free as a bird (a bird that is not in a zoo, that is). It's just like that poem I wrote She Lives. I think I put that on here, so I won't type it up again. I wrote that because it is how I would like to be 10 years from now. By then I will be 25, a few years out of college. I've heard that those are the scariest times in your life because you have to support yourself, and even though you can trust some to float you a few bucks, you are dependent on yourself. You can take it one of two ways. You could think of how scary it is and just pray that you make it, or you can take it as an exciting challenge and see how wonderfully it feels to be out in the world, just like your parents. So many people are successful, so there is no reason that I can't be myself.
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